Massive Grace

and, this, i would like to share with all.

after a walk to remember, i thought there will be nothing to match its momentum.

and time proves me wrong, yet again.

so then, i came up with another one, after a walk to remember and the notebook, nothing else would come close.

aha, see? i was wrong again.

in comes dear john. and believe it or not, i only saw the trailer since the movie will come up later next year in february.

and so stingy me actually bought this book! it was ridiculous. i never spend money on novels that are here today and gone tomorrow (in my own terms, not re-reading worthy).

yes, and i searched high and low for the book.

nope, i cant find it in kuching and finally i located it in mph here in johor.

the read was enjoyable since it was something that i had been anticipating for half so long and it definitely wasn't a disappointment at any point.

nicholas sparks is a great writer! making oh-so-cliche stuffs so down to earth and less shallow. fictions are starting to be good reading materials too.

and right now, i cant wait for the movie to come out. i posted on this before right? no wonder i felt like i wrote on this already...

and, anyway, great semester. i had outlined some sketches for the hall decorations with the help from my bureau members and my roommate and stella and i actually enjoyed myself doing them even though i know i am being idealistic with our plans at the moment and we are bound to be hit hard in the ego segment but i will live in the minute first, i guess. hey jing, i am actually drawing!

and ying hong came up with the really amazing stuffs for the design of xishui which everyone in the committee will definitely love even though i haven set eyes on them yet. but i know that everything will turn out better than i imagined them.

o Lord, give me more and more, when i learn to give more and more too.

luke 6:38

Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

i will be reminded.

Barging Through, no scars!

what does it take to be inspiring? what sets the frontier? what makes it that way?

lately, it has been like a long journey of rediscoveries and new recognitions and realizations and much much more regrets and resolutions.

2009 is drawing to an end even though things still stay the same.

i used to imagine this day. and i imagined it a lot different.

gone with the i will be what i want to be.

gone be the that's security and that's the way.

gone be the i am proud of just and simply being me.

gone be the all things will be crystal clear and picture perfect.

yes, gone with all that.

and yet, the lessons learn.

what will be will be.

faith and love conquers all.

be still my child, I am here.

and, ah yes, we learn from our mistakes, that's a compliment.

talking about inspirations, two things come into mind.

first, the movie P.S. I Love You, the colourful scenes when they met at the national park, it was inspiring, and their theory to create or to be enslaved, that was inspiring.

and the second, the author Nicholas sparks, true inspiration, leading me into the world of fictions that are not shallow.

on my list of things i must do in the near future includes learning to swim, mastering full chords on my acoustic, inspire people, and improve everyday in terms of my spiritual eyes and ears and mind.

and to call mom and dad and daniel and kelvin as often as i can.

and to give up on yogurt drinks, except that it's a special occasion and serve with a bigger heart and to share with a willing mind.

i think i'm in love.

in love with this God-given life.

the one that i can do beautiful things with.

Teeny-weeny-twensy

this is going a be a great semester, with plenty of obligations to fulfill and plenty of new things to try! let's just keep our fingers crossed that i survive this tremendous wave.

up first there's bionite's decorations. i have no talent whatsoever in the department of arts and anything creative, so this is like a dead-end, way-no-way-no destruction of me. but, embracing challenge is another way of life, i will die anyway if i don't try, so why not die trying instead. at least, by then i will acknowledge my limits and find myself maybe somewhere else.

and then, there's the xi shui obligation. i love writing, but coming out with an essay compilation is not exactly the way i planned it, and definitely not a mandarin-in-major compilation. i still have stella to turn to, thank goodness! it's going to be a blast! and it's exciting, i hope i can see beyond the frames and boxes and surprised people. that will be the challenge. but, how can i manage that when the essays we are supposed to compile are so limited?

and and and, i have my industrial training in mind. it is such a chore choosing something decent when you have to consider all the puny puny delegations like safety issues and transportational issues and all those living expanses and stuffs. things would be much easier if we were to be allowed home and everything. i wish!

and after that, more concerns on my studies of which i had been neglecting for quite some time now. some catching-up and lots of priority setting needed tweaking. and concentration.

actually there are not much but it's a lot more than i used to be able to handle so i am going to trust God's guidance once more and come out one piece! blessed be the name of our LORD!!!

Ramblings of first-week-nothings

a brand new semester and hopefully a brand new me. i am working on the subject "me" and it is not working very well, it is far more difficult change than i hought. the way our minds work, amazing.

working on part one of me at the moment which is revising my resolutions and setting new life aspirations. last semester's resolutions are still valid but i have new additions and these includes important stuffs like my peers back home and my studies and my family. i think my budds back home need more appreciation from me to show them just how much i appreciated them all this while, supporting and embracing me. ah, love my friends so so much!

the first week is almost gone, so quietly and without notice. it was a terrible week, simply because i am still in my holiday mood and that i am heaving and panting restlessly of which i have no idea why and feel half-hearted about all things important and all things not-so-important and i am sick of watching movies and dramas all the time too.

i need to kick start and yet the motivation tank is running way too slow. God, please fill me up!

i need strength and energy and some more inspirations! there are plenty of difficult issues for me to settle and amazingly, i think i would really like to challenge them. hope things come out well!

God cast out all fear!

some alterations and some new attitudes, i think i am doing just fine for the time being. but, if i were given the authority, i wouldn't know what to change anyway, so lets just keep our faith, and wait upon Him patiently.

new semester and things are just going to kick start in not-to-far-future, maybe next week, so we are practically bored to death. i do have other obligations, but i just cant seem to bring myself to settle them, which is now in a very ugly big pile. clearance! anyone wants some scrap?

i miss home already. my mom and my dad and my brothers and my bed. i miss the free-flowing internet access and i miss the atmosphere. like i am doing fine and that everything will be okay. everything will be okay, i just have to strive harder in bringing meaning to every passing minute of my life.

i am really happy for last night's insight God! makes me go bling bling bling inside! don live in fear for presumed hazards. don't live in fear for what that is to come tomorrow. don't fear what is to happen when this and that happens! live is fuller and much more meaningful than that. and always have reverance for the Lord who has the power over everything. no matter what will happen, we still have our Lord.

therefore, the two uppermost issues in my life is:

have faith in HIM!!!

enjoy life!

Mithigiserithingablithigeithig.....

i am concerned. my hair is damaged to great extend and there are these scarred patches on my scalp. am i going to lose hair? i know that i can always get a wig but still, its scary! can i just rewind it and say, no more hot tools and drastic chemicals on my hair? i am greatly appalled and defeated.

another issue bothering me. going back to uni life. i am not sure that i can cope after all... it is starting to get scary and there are far too many things that i wanted to put into boxes forever and things that i don like, can i just omit them?

i am so going to miss home, and my brothers and my parents and yet, i will be leaving behind things that i really loathe, but i simply cant see myself protected from it forever.

dear father, i am again lost. i wandered off too far.. to this place called distress and exhaustion and thirst. i want to repent. from this moment onwards, i am recommitting myself to your greatness. show me the way. and give me the strength.

Julie and Julia: My Take

there are just things that i am dying to figure out and how i can be that one person that i can never become. it's still difficult to believe that this is me. someone with no aspirations and no dreams and no motivation. i want something. at least give me something.

watched julie and julia today with daniel and mom and dad. the later two left after ten minutes into the movie. they fall asleep. the intro was quite dry i have to admit, but it's not bad a story for an autobiography, lapsing two different time eras.

actually i find it quite aspiring. these two women finding directions and purposes of their life. serving the Lord is the main purpose, yes, i cant deny that. but God has something planned and cooked up for me. and you of course. it would be something that i am willing to spend my time doing and in doing so, proclaiming His truth through my actions and things i say and things i stood up for and my perspectives on things.

i am definitely holding on that He prepared the best for me. whatever it is. i am still in murky land at the moment but it's coming. making its way. anytime now.

so, when i feel i am lost or i am facing too big a catastrophe, i am sure that i have Him to rely on. don't try to solve it your own way, because if you do that, the problem seems so big!

anyway, back to julie and julia, i liked it because i find that julia is a really good role model by the way she sees things and how she carries herself. she is so optimistic and joyous and always so pleasant and do things that will bring joy to herself and to people around her.

mental note:

read up on julia child's biography and i must attempt french cuisines, some point in my life. not trying to make it big like julie powell but attempting to cook something fancy sounds heavenly...

like julie powell, i am just so engrossed with this woman^^

Mam-mam-crunch-crunch

it's easy to get sick of myself, and the things i have to put myself into and those ugly thoughts and awful things that comes out of my mouth. if change is really that simple, i guess i would be perfect.

i had been sleeping in for one month and a few days now, and trust me, it's not a good feeling.

i hated it and yet there's really nothin much i can do about it.

which is exactly why i feel so tired of being me sometimes.

i came home with the intention to help around the house and to make some contributions, and yet, as far as i see, i am coming back for princess treatment!

sigh, i hope your daughter grow up one day sooner mom and dad.

it must have been difficult to put up with me sometimes...

...

chia yin, and wei thing, i miss you guys, and jing, you too!

and ah lin and ah jayne...

and wee mee!

and moi!

sigh, i really wanted to meet up by nothing seems to be working so far...

i still have a couple of days left, lets see what we can do about tat.

i am so going to get my hair done this coming monday, if i don't i will die, really.

the problem is i don know where i should go to get it done...

anyone else who wants to get your hair done? suggestions?

...


so, like i said, i was stuck home for a great great deal of time, so all i could do was catching up on dramas and movies.

this one is my latest watch:

koishite akuma aka vampire boy

personally, i think that there's just one too many vampire stories in the main stream market that it's starting to get irritating.

it's difficult to keep coming up new stuffs for vampire stories and the same goes for koishite akuma.

however, there are some rather creative tricks in this one that are surprisingly pleasant.



typical, typical...

...

i am going back to university very soon and for the first time, i am dreading about going back there.

the friends are great and i love my room and i like my school and my church very much too.

but something's seem to be missing and i really cant pin point it out.

i have no idea what it is.

dear father, please guide me through and keep my faith in you.

amen.

Merciful Turbulence and Distortion

reading people's blog is an enlightening procedure, makes me go ga-ga and seeing so many different things and decipher the author and gives me inspirations, often inspirations to improve myself physically, mentally and urges me to broaden my views on things and of the late, affirmation and support on things i stood up for, my beliefs and my ground rules.

talking about inspirations, i was home for quite a while now and two things managed to stop me with momentum and got me into really uplifting ambiance.

number one would be the visit to the art museum with my "tourists". that had been really cool for me, to breath art and to feel art. i love all things beautiful. i guess the comfort comes from knowing that i can let myself into all things happening and refuse to be a continuous ignorant. i don't want to be a mediocre! now where does that come from?

number two is really lame but i guess it's just another of the growing up phase. i know. film adaptation of nicholas spark's dear john. i watched the trailer for a couple of times and i really do like it. cheesy and cliche as it may seem, it's really pleasant and charming and captivating. yeah, i am saying all these judging by a mere 2 minutes trailer. and the song was really cool. set fire to the third bar by snow patrol ft martha wainwright. i really recommend the song, great!

and these pretty much sums up my month-long holiday, plenty of movies and songs and books and some paintings and museums. yup, that's pretty much of it all.

okay, and for now, some recommendations:

mischievous music from lenka, very catch tunes, trouble is a friend and the show.



and oh yeah, this one is like one of the best movies after a walk to remember, the notebook. ( yes, i think i am becoming a nicholas spark addict)



p/s
anyways, my plannings are whirling and whirling and trying to take form, for the whole new semester, i want to see changes, dramatic or subtle i don't care, i just want them different.

my life is seriously turbulent at the time being, i will make things right if i can, given the time and space, and my skin is like this million year-old parchment, peeling and harsh and my health is deteriorating, why is it that i cannot seem to learn to love my body? body peace! body peace! body peace! fade out...

you're beautiful!!!!

of the late, i am heads over heels into this...

korean drama's latest hit, starring Jang Guen-Suk, Lee Hong-Ki from FT.Island, Jung Yong Hwa from CN. Blue and Park Shin-Hye, we have YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL (minami shineyo)!

from left: jang guen-suk, park shin-hye, lee hong-ki, jung yong-hwa~

the hit pig rabbit!

he's so different in this drama, totally different from the roles he used to potray in doremifasolati and hwang jin e.

lee hong-ki!!! the cutest!

thanks su chern, i love it~

Be Bold, And Proclaim!

how can the blind see? how can the deaf hear? how can the mute sing?

where are those who are given eyes to see and lead? where are those who are given ears to hear and proclaim? where are those who are given voice to sing and praise?

those who were chosen first, you were not chosen to be quiet and reserve to your own needs? why did you lock Jesus up in your wardrobe?

you were not chosen because you were better, you were chosen simply because Jesus loves you!

i always needed reminding, that i am not chosen to be walking on this road of faith because of me. when i start to be proud, i render to this:

the story of Zacchaeus the tax collector act as my constant reminder.

Luke 19

Zacchaeus the Tax Collector

¹Jesus entered Jericho and was passing through.
²A man was there by the name of Zacchaeus; he was a chief tax collector and was wealthy. ³He wanted to see who Jesus was, but being a short man he could not, because of the crowd.
⁴So he ran ahead and climbed a sycamore-fig tree to see him, since Jesus was coming that way.

⁵When Jesus reached the spot, he looked up and said to him, "Zacchaeus, come down immediately. I must stay at your house today."

⁶So he came down at once and welcomed him gladly.

⁷All the people saw this and began to mutter, "He has gone to be the guest of a 'sinner.' "

⁸But Zacchaeus stood up and said to the Lord, "Look, Lord! Here and now I give half of my possessions to the poor, and if I have cheated anybody out of anything, I will pay back four times the amount."

⁹Jesus said to him, "Today salvation has come to this house, because this man, too, is a son of Abraham. ¹⁰For the Son of Man came to seek and to save what was lost."

verse 10 says that " For the Son of Man came to seek and to save what was lost."

like Zacchaeus, i have nothing to boast and i am not better than the rest. yet, He reached out and took my hand, and saved me and gave me this redeemed new life. He seeks me! ans i am found!

Jesus seeks the lost. He cares for the helpless and the lost. we were once the lost and the helpless and now we were redeemed by His blood. by having faith in Him we were saved.

we are not that great, really, we just have a great God.

don't be selfish, share Jesus with them. remember, it is never you doing it, so don't worry if you were going to screw it, Jesus is the seeker remember? He chooses and He blesses. have faith in Him. He will see you through okay.

Sunny-side up

i am truly happy and at ease and enjoying life at the moment, realizing that there's really far too much for me to do and that giving up is like far too unacceptable for my self-esteem and yes, i always have God to turn to.

finally back at home and surfing the net with glee and taking in all i missed when i went to uni and sleeping and sleeping and eating! oh the food! it's so nice to be back home! love you mum! love you dad! and yes, love you too daniel!!

attended my uncle's funeral last friday. he was finally home now, amen. he accepted christ two months ago and was baptized a few days before he passed away. praise the Lord! it deserves a celebration rather than a gloomy funeral. i think all the angels are singing for him now! sad yes we are, but it's more of a gain rather than a lost. we were really happy for him...

having sleeping disorders this few days, somebody help me! i have to sleep really late, and then i cant wake up early anymore. and bruxism too! help me! and i dont think that i am stressed at any point!

i desperately need to do something to occupy my time, so far my daily routine is: watching movies + dramas via tube, via internet and reading, and playing the guitar and cooking and sleeping and eating and that's all. for the record, so far, i have only stepped out from my house once or twice only to take out the rubbish or to take in the morning papers.... potential otaku?

i wan my mommy and daddy

for the first time in my life, i am so so so looking forward to going home, home-sickness, not yet, but almost, i don't know how to put it but i really really miss everyone and everything back home, even though i am going back to a slightly different home this time, without my brother, (he's far far way in kedah) and i m not sure our dog back home will still recognize me or not. and no, it's not because something bad happened here and that i need to get back for shelter.

i was staying up late for no reason at all the other day (presumably to study but i can never study after 9pm, but still, due to my recent upsidee down lifestyle, i cant seem to wake up early anymore, and therefore the situation), i was so so down, i wanted to sleep and yet i don wan to sleep away time, even though i cant study, and i don really care that much about my school stuffs, which is totally not appropriate, i know, and i was thinking how it would be like if i were home. momm would be downstairs already, cooking and washing and cleaning, and if i were to appear, she would be really pleased, and i would help a bit and then my dad would come down too, getting the morning papers first, and then reading, and then he will go into the garden and start watering his plants. by then my mom will most probably has finish cooking (ah yes, cooking, we eat a lot for breakfast) and start serving. and my dad will come in, and they will be sitting around the dining table, talking while waiting for my brothers to come down. then we'll have breakfast together. it's always busy, we will all be talking at the same time, about school, about a test, about work, about food, and our schedules, and organizing and distributing work. and after that, more chaos, of getting ready, gathering our stuffs, refilling our water containers. and then off we go for school.

i never appreciate our morning rituals until after i started university. i never realised how blessed our family is, being able to sit down for breakfast and share together every morning. it used to seem like such a chore. and i never realized how quiet it would get after we leave for school, where mom will quickly clean-up and prepare for work and dad will be gone by then. then, an empty house.

i try to imagine God looking after us, and seeing from a vertical view, everyone rushing and thinking that they are making the best out of their time and how everyone doesn't seem to know how happy and contended we are supposed to feel. we are all rushing, and the time is running...

we are so daft sometimes, we never appreciate time and space and people. we are always we are after something worthwhile, and lose out on the real worthwhile stuffs. it's so typical of us.

God of all providence, shed some light would you?

The process of recharting my life

i think, it is really time to put down things that doesnt belong and things does me no good once and for all. God of all providance and God of all mercy and God of all, please give me extra extra courage and strength and determination. i ve been through all things possible and i am pretty sure i learnt my lesson, is it possible for you to rechart Your schedule and move my timeline a bit? i mean let me move on to the next stage where i can do more and learn different things for a change. it has been this issue for more than 10 years already and something new, not too drastic though, woud be a fresh new chapter.

done with being mundane and careless, i want to reveal more feminine side on my behalf and live a much glorious life ( glorifying God at the same time). help me to enjoy life while i still have the chance God, i don wan to regret and i don wan to cry on and burden myself with petty issues anymore.

i wan to be healthy and strong and clean! the later being the most challenging and i wan to be confident in terms with wat i believe and who i am. i am going to care less abou what ppl will say and think about me, yet take in their doubtings too (like how kipling put it for his son), and yes the walking with kings nor lose the common touch part, i want that too. i want to outgrow the old me and learn to take care of myself. learn to love my friends and for once, start appreciating them for being there, and start to be there for them too. and a daughter too. being Your daughter and being mama n papa's daughter. and learn to laugh more heartily. and learn to show affection without thinking about what implications will be made. read and reread the bible. and be responsible and show that i really care about what i am doing and appreciate all things You did for me, good or bad, stringent or relaxed.

i will fight for You! i will fight for my friends! i will fight for my family! i will fight for myself!

things will be easy, when we really rely on you, take my heart and my soul my Lord and make me worthy your apparatus, shine and shine and shine for you~!!!

who's jemima?

my most current read

jemima j. by jane green



what i liked most about Jemima J. is the way Jane Green narrates the whole tale. it is exactly like you are watching it via tube in all cosiness, with all the east talking and the vivd images, and the colours, oh the colours! superb.

jemima is a very real character, someone that you can pick up on your way to work. she's very lively andvery much overweight and very very peculiar, and we are not referring to her size in this context. she has unthinkable bad habits and splurge on the strangest things and rewards herself when she needed it. and she's crushing on that hearthrobe at work and she assures us that she's overlooking all things superficial. she's into his heart. sounds familiar? i bet.

i really enjoyed the ride, the oohs and ahs, travelling and laughing along with the plot twisted together perfectly in Jane Green's mpressively down-to-earth and easy-to-follow way of putting words together.

and i really find the plot suprisingly unpredictable, except for the kinda cheesy ending, bagging the man and gaining succes in her career. but hey, who's in for something life-sozed anyway? a healthy dosage of happily-ever-after is just enough to antidote the already harsh reality^^

5 stars! great read! a worth-your-money 449-page read!

so you think

as i was saying, so many things to accomplish, so little time! so little energy! so little faith!

all of a sudden i miss you guys very much, you guys from 09 I-connect SCMC skudai mission trip! every single one of you! hope that you are all well and still fighting for the gospel's sake! be firm and stand straight! someday when we meet again, we will have so much to share!



















went through a few things in my mind, they are still quite a mess up there, exactly like how it is in my room. attempts for clean-up had undertaken a few times now, the chaos still remains, and no matter what i do, it stays at its unpresentable state. i need a higher power. GOD! i am so impatient sometimes! but what is the purpose for me to keep on guessing? my faith is withering...

Father...

dear Father in heaven,

i am still here in case you forgot. still waiting for your answers. i know my time and your time is wayyyyyyyyyyyyyy different but do you think that there might be any way for you to speed things up slightly on your behalf? i am getting impatient and really restless, but i think i see where i am going, and that's no place that you would want me to muddle myself in, but it is still so difficult.

remember my prayer that day? at least show me or give me or let me in some of the fun? that prayer still valid? i am not getting any fun and every single day seems like another bigger ordeal, nah, not really an ordeal, but getting close. i am still enjoying life, but God, you know what i mean right? it's quite difficult to be a human too, with all those feelings and temptations and stuffs, you know? yes, you know.

still in the process of molding me? how's it getting? i still feel the same. ouch, that hurts! and only you will understand that. silly me, thinking that there might be anyone out there better for me than you, Lord! i am still in the making anyway. i think i come to realize the real meaning behind perfection. it means trying to accept and tolerate things you cant instead of having all things your way.

keep going, i am waiting. i will try to be patient. what better way to learn patience than to throw me a chance to be patient, eh God?

In Jesus' name i pray, AMEN!

Stuffs

hey hey, my blog's going into a whole new era! this blog is only going to jote down and make rememberance of all things joyous and enlightening! (let's just pray that this lasts...)

even though i like it better gloomy and depressed and sad, but i am not the only reader, so i'll just try and see if it will work out. i always prefer autumn rather than spring. there is this delicate beauty in despair u know. ah, wholenew era!

my recent activities updates!





i came back from cameron during raya week with really really bad skin (peeling skin and sunburns) and tired physique and a really really happy spirit! it was a blast, the camp. it's an annual camp organized by my church over here, SCMC. i was one of the group leaders and i hated it, but i had to embrace it whether i want it or not so that's how things go. our rev was in my group too! haha! and there is participation of students from other universities also, so it was really really a lot of fun.







plenty of first times, and really a lot to take in. cameron was okay, i expected it to be cooler, as in the atmosphere and stuffs, but it's cool enough. people say you learn more when you are actually doing it, and yes, i learnt a great deal by doing things i wont normally consider!



right after that, i have my piles and piles of assignments to tackle, and tests to study, i was really grateful that i managed to complete most of them now, waiting for compilation at the moment.

i was supposed to sit for two different tests today, but luckily, one was cancelled last minute so i was really glad that i got the chance to concentrate on just one. phew... i just hope that i walk out of this alive.

what else's new?

went on doulus on sunday despite my assignments and test and it's really worth it! i bought three books for RM20! did we need an entrance fee going doulus in Kuching? things sure are different but it's only a small canal dividing these two places, okay maybe not a small canal...



my point is, see, writing bout all these things are so mundane, i don get to be crappy, jing! where can i express my crapiness then? sigh... expect my calls soon... oops, i still owe you an emailright? sigh...

stella's liking this...

卢学睿 - 可不可以爱我

为什么如此的安静
为什么明明想靠近 却还在迟疑
努力的我保持镇定 努力开拓话题
最后却溃不成军
为什么如此的美丽
深刻的烙在心里最温柔的酷刑
每一天无法不想你
连闭上眼睛 怎么都是你
你可不可以爱我 可不可以想我
虽然我对自己没有一点的把握
别害怕我难过 告诉我你真实的感受
至少忐忑 已告一段落
你可不可以爱我 可不可以看我
反正看或不看 我依然失魂落魄
成全不是美德 拒绝也不是一种罪过
你能给我快乐还是寂寞
为什么如此的美丽
深刻的烙在心里最温柔的酷刑
每一天无法不想你
连闭上眼睛 怎么都是你
你可不可以爱我 可不可以想我
虽然我对自己没有一点的把握
别害怕我难过 告诉我你真实的感受
至少忐忑 能告一段落
你可不可以爱我 可不可以看我
反正看或不看 我依然失魂落魄
成全不是美德 拒绝也不是一种罪过
你能给我快乐还是寂寞
想念燃烧个不停 我快置身灰烬
你是我的呼吸
你可不可以爱我 可不可以想我
虽然我对自己没有一点的把握
别害怕我难过 告诉我你真实的感受
至少忐忑 已告一段落
你可不可以爱我 可不可以看我
反正看或不看 我依然失魂落魄
成全不是美德 拒绝也不是一种罪过
你能给我 能给我什么 快乐还是寂寞

it's a great song, stella! i will try my best to be more understanding but at times, being who i am, i am so easily distracted from looking at people in the deeper affection, i am still trying to cope, i think our friendship can persevere this, even though it is difficult.

i understand more than you know, even though i might neglect things, i understand u don want to pour everything out flowlessly like the way i handle things on my behalf, but i am really positive that we can withstand this, the power within us is greater than the power around us, God will see us through, our victory will be His glory. Amen.

恋爱症候群

作曲：黄舒骏 作词：黄舒骏

关于恋爱症候群的发生原因 至今仍然是最大一个谜
不管性别年龄职业体重学历长相和血型 没有一个人可以免疫
有些专家学者研究后相信 恋爱是内分泌失调所引起
却有别人认为恋爱属于滤过性病毒 像感冒无药可救但会自动痊癒
不管你同不同意 自古到今许多例子证明
恋爱不但是一种病态 它还可能是一种变态

一般发病后的初期反应会开始改变一些生活习性
洗澡洗得特别干净 刷牙刷得特别用力 半夜突然爬起来弹钢琴
有人每天站在阳台对路人傻笑 有人突然疯疯癫癫 突然很安静
有人一脸痴呆 对着镜子咬着指甲打喷嚏 有人对着小狗骂三字经
女人突然改变发型 男人开始每天练着哑铃
食欲不振歇斯底里四肢萎缩神经过敏发抖抽筋都出现在这时期

随着病情越来越变本加厉 人会变得格外敏感勇敢和恶心
写的说的唱的都像天才诗人一般才华洋溢 愈肉麻愈觉得有趣
有人恋爱之后每天躲在厕所哭泣 有人开记者会宣布恋爱的消息
有人总是喜欢两个人躲在黑漆漆的地方 像做了不可告人的事情
每天忙着算命 挖空心思改变自己 配合对方的习性
把每天都当作纪念日 把自己当作纪念品
每天漫无目的的腻在一起 言不及意也觉得好有趣
走着坐着躺着趴着都形影不离 像是两人三脚又像连体婴
心里想的只有爱你爱你爱你爱你 也不管家里米缸有没有米
也不管路上有人示威抗议 只管爱你
心里想的只有爱你爱你爱你爱你 也不管海峡两岸统一问题
也不管衣索匹亚多少难民 只管爱你

经过一段轰轰烈烈热恋时期 不久就会开始渐渐痊癒
两人开始互相厌倦 互相攻击对方缺点 所有甜蜜都随风而去
然后开始从错觉和误解中清醒 惊讶自己为何如此不聪明
为了爱情不管一切 不顾父母朋友姐妹兄弟 开始感到后悔不已
然后开始感到疲惫沉闷气喘心悸牙痛头痛梦呓
然后是精神不济瞳孔放大脾气暴燥四肢麻痺 终于受不了要分离

虽然结果颇令人伤心 了解之后也没什么了不起
爱情终究是握不住的云 只是我想要告诉你
哦……在我落寞的岁月里 你的温柔解脱我的孤寂
带给我深深的狂喜 如此颤动着我的心灵
轻轻诉说爱你爱你爱你爱你 不管是黑夜或是黎明
不管是梦中或是清醒 深深爱你
我要对你说爱你爱你爱你爱你 不管是黑夜或是黎明
不管是梦中或是清醒 深深爱你
多么幸福 让我遇见你 呜……