Massive Grace

and, this, i would like to share with all.

after a walk to remember, i thought there will be nothing to match its momentum.

and time proves me wrong, yet again.

so then, i came up with another one, after a walk to remember and the notebook, nothing else would come close.

aha, see? i was wrong again.

in comes dear john. and believe it or not, i only saw the trailer since the movie will come up later next year in february.

and so stingy me actually bought this book! it was ridiculous. i never spend money on novels that are here today and gone tomorrow (in my own terms, not re-reading worthy).

yes, and i searched high and low for the book.

nope, i cant find it in kuching and finally i located it in mph here in johor.

the read was enjoyable since it was something that i had been anticipating for half so long and it definitely wasn't a disappointment at any point.

nicholas sparks is a great writer! making oh-so-cliche stuffs so down to earth and less shallow. fictions are starting to be good reading materials too.

and right now, i cant wait for the movie to come out. i posted on this before right? no wonder i felt like i wrote on this already...

and, anyway, great semester. i had outlined some sketches for the hall decorations with the help from my bureau members and my roommate and stella and i actually enjoyed myself doing them even though i know i am being idealistic with our plans at the moment and we are bound to be hit hard in the ego segment but i will live in the minute first, i guess. hey jing, i am actually drawing!

and ying hong came up with the really amazing stuffs for the design of xishui which everyone in the committee will definitely love even though i haven set eyes on them yet. but i know that everything will turn out better than i imagined them.

o Lord, give me more and more, when i learn to give more and more too.

luke 6:38

Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

i will be reminded.

Barging Through, no scars!

what does it take to be inspiring? what sets the frontier? what makes it that way?

lately, it has been like a long journey of rediscoveries and new recognitions and realizations and much much more regrets and resolutions.

2009 is drawing to an end even though things still stay the same.

i used to imagine this day. and i imagined it a lot different.

gone with the i will be what i want to be.

gone be the that's security and that's the way.

gone be the i am proud of just and simply being me.

gone be the all things will be crystal clear and picture perfect.

yes, gone with all that.

and yet, the lessons learn.

what will be will be.

faith and love conquers all.

be still my child, I am here.

and, ah yes, we learn from our mistakes, that's a compliment.

talking about inspirations, two things come into mind.

first, the movie P.S. I Love You, the colourful scenes when they met at the national park, it was inspiring, and their theory to create or to be enslaved, that was inspiring.

and the second, the author Nicholas sparks, true inspiration, leading me into the world of fictions that are not shallow.

on my list of things i must do in the near future includes learning to swim, mastering full chords on my acoustic, inspire people, and improve everyday in terms of my spiritual eyes and ears and mind.

and to call mom and dad and daniel and kelvin as often as i can.

and to give up on yogurt drinks, except that it's a special occasion and serve with a bigger heart and to share with a willing mind.

i think i'm in love.

in love with this God-given life.

the one that i can do beautiful things with.

Teeny-weeny-twensy

this is going a be a great semester, with plenty of obligations to fulfill and plenty of new things to try! let's just keep our fingers crossed that i survive this tremendous wave.

up first there's bionite's decorations. i have no talent whatsoever in the department of arts and anything creative, so this is like a dead-end, way-no-way-no destruction of me. but, embracing challenge is another way of life, i will die anyway if i don't try, so why not die trying instead. at least, by then i will acknowledge my limits and find myself maybe somewhere else.

and then, there's the xi shui obligation. i love writing, but coming out with an essay compilation is not exactly the way i planned it, and definitely not a mandarin-in-major compilation. i still have stella to turn to, thank goodness! it's going to be a blast! and it's exciting, i hope i can see beyond the frames and boxes and surprised people. that will be the challenge. but, how can i manage that when the essays we are supposed to compile are so limited?

and and and, i have my industrial training in mind. it is such a chore choosing something decent when you have to consider all the puny puny delegations like safety issues and transportational issues and all those living expanses and stuffs. things would be much easier if we were to be allowed home and everything. i wish!

and after that, more concerns on my studies of which i had been neglecting for quite some time now. some catching-up and lots of priority setting needed tweaking. and concentration.

actually there are not much but it's a lot more than i used to be able to handle so i am going to trust God's guidance once more and come out one piece! blessed be the name of our LORD!!!

Ramblings of first-week-nothings

a brand new semester and hopefully a brand new me. i am working on the subject "me" and it is not working very well, it is far more difficult change than i hought. the way our minds work, amazing.

working on part one of me at the moment which is revising my resolutions and setting new life aspirations. last semester's resolutions are still valid but i have new additions and these includes important stuffs like my peers back home and my studies and my family. i think my budds back home need more appreciation from me to show them just how much i appreciated them all this while, supporting and embracing me. ah, love my friends so so much!

the first week is almost gone, so quietly and without notice. it was a terrible week, simply because i am still in my holiday mood and that i am heaving and panting restlessly of which i have no idea why and feel half-hearted about all things important and all things not-so-important and i am sick of watching movies and dramas all the time too.

i need to kick start and yet the motivation tank is running way too slow. God, please fill me up!

i need strength and energy and some more inspirations! there are plenty of difficult issues for me to settle and amazingly, i think i would really like to challenge them. hope things come out well!

God cast out all fear!

some alterations and some new attitudes, i think i am doing just fine for the time being. but, if i were given the authority, i wouldn't know what to change anyway, so lets just keep our faith, and wait upon Him patiently.

new semester and things are just going to kick start in not-to-far-future, maybe next week, so we are practically bored to death. i do have other obligations, but i just cant seem to bring myself to settle them, which is now in a very ugly big pile. clearance! anyone wants some scrap?

i miss home already. my mom and my dad and my brothers and my bed. i miss the free-flowing internet access and i miss the atmosphere. like i am doing fine and that everything will be okay. everything will be okay, i just have to strive harder in bringing meaning to every passing minute of my life.

i am really happy for last night's insight God! makes me go bling bling bling inside! don live in fear for presumed hazards. don't live in fear for what that is to come tomorrow. don't fear what is to happen when this and that happens! live is fuller and much more meaningful than that. and always have reverance for the Lord who has the power over everything. no matter what will happen, we still have our Lord.

therefore, the two uppermost issues in my life is:

have faith in HIM!!!

enjoy life!

Mithigiserithingablithigeithig.....

i am concerned. my hair is damaged to great extend and there are these scarred patches on my scalp. am i going to lose hair? i know that i can always get a wig but still, its scary! can i just rewind it and say, no more hot tools and drastic chemicals on my hair? i am greatly appalled and defeated.

another issue bothering me. going back to uni life. i am not sure that i can cope after all... it is starting to get scary and there are far too many things that i wanted to put into boxes forever and things that i don like, can i just omit them?

i am so going to miss home, and my brothers and my parents and yet, i will be leaving behind things that i really loathe, but i simply cant see myself protected from it forever.

dear father, i am again lost. i wandered off too far.. to this place called distress and exhaustion and thirst. i want to repent. from this moment onwards, i am recommitting myself to your greatness. show me the way. and give me the strength.

Julie and Julia: My Take

there are just things that i am dying to figure out and how i can be that one person that i can never become. it's still difficult to believe that this is me. someone with no aspirations and no dreams and no motivation. i want something. at least give me something.

watched julie and julia today with daniel and mom and dad. the later two left after ten minutes into the movie. they fall asleep. the intro was quite dry i have to admit, but it's not bad a story for an autobiography, lapsing two different time eras.

actually i find it quite aspiring. these two women finding directions and purposes of their life. serving the Lord is the main purpose, yes, i cant deny that. but God has something planned and cooked up for me. and you of course. it would be something that i am willing to spend my time doing and in doing so, proclaiming His truth through my actions and things i say and things i stood up for and my perspectives on things.

i am definitely holding on that He prepared the best for me. whatever it is. i am still in murky land at the moment but it's coming. making its way. anytime now.

so, when i feel i am lost or i am facing too big a catastrophe, i am sure that i have Him to rely on. don't try to solve it your own way, because if you do that, the problem seems so big!

anyway, back to julie and julia, i liked it because i find that julia is a really good role model by the way she sees things and how she carries herself. she is so optimistic and joyous and always so pleasant and do things that will bring joy to herself and to people around her.

mental note:

read up on julia child's biography and i must attempt french cuisines, some point in my life. not trying to make it big like julie powell but attempting to cook something fancy sounds heavenly...

like julie powell, i am just so engrossed with this woman^^

Mam-mam-crunch-crunch

it's easy to get sick of myself, and the things i have to put myself into and those ugly thoughts and awful things that comes out of my mouth. if change is really that simple, i guess i would be perfect.

i had been sleeping in for one month and a few days now, and trust me, it's not a good feeling.

i hated it and yet there's really nothin much i can do about it.

which is exactly why i feel so tired of being me sometimes.

i came home with the intention to help around the house and to make some contributions, and yet, as far as i see, i am coming back for princess treatment!

sigh, i hope your daughter grow up one day sooner mom and dad.

it must have been difficult to put up with me sometimes...

...

chia yin, and wei thing, i miss you guys, and jing, you too!

and ah lin and ah jayne...

and wee mee!

and moi!

sigh, i really wanted to meet up by nothing seems to be working so far...

i still have a couple of days left, lets see what we can do about tat.

i am so going to get my hair done this coming monday, if i don't i will die, really.

the problem is i don know where i should go to get it done...

anyone else who wants to get your hair done? suggestions?

...


so, like i said, i was stuck home for a great great deal of time, so all i could do was catching up on dramas and movies.

this one is my latest watch:

koishite akuma aka vampire boy

personally, i think that there's just one too many vampire stories in the main stream market that it's starting to get irritating.

it's difficult to keep coming up new stuffs for vampire stories and the same goes for koishite akuma.

however, there are some rather creative tricks in this one that are surprisingly pleasant.



typical, typical...

...

i am going back to university very soon and for the first time, i am dreading about going back there.

the friends are great and i love my room and i like my school and my church very much too.

but something's seem to be missing and i really cant pin point it out.

i have no idea what it is.

dear father, please guide me through and keep my faith in you.

amen.