finally a cloudy evening. the sun had been blazing for days, i guess it finally realizes that it needs a break too. i don't know if its me or what, the temperature despite the weather did not drop a bit. the sky is gray, but i'm still feeling steamy and hot inside the house. must be because the earth absorbed far too much heat. heat is still radiating in the air.
one thing i am scared of, changes. people, places, things, thoughts, perspectives. i am horrified. won it be great things stay the same forever. the most scary thing is when u realize that things around you are changed one day, and finally come to realize that you are the one who changed the most.
someday, things will be okay again. and we will be carefree. restricted in neither emotions nor actions. we can set ourselves free. i wonder how that feels like? the emotional burden, is getting heavier every single day. when i am trying to hide my true self, will i eventually lost my true self?
practice, and then u grow. we are all like that. what is more important? pleasing thyself? pleasing others? pleasing God? the answer is clear, yet the decision seems so difficult. i heard people saying that, without suffering, there would not be compassion. so without choices, there would not be good decisions?
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