my head is going to burst!! i cant rest, my mind is constantly in this "thinking" mode, and i really don't know how to switch it off. at first its stress due to my disastrous result, then ipta application, then college application, now grown ups!! i feel torn apart! my mom wants me to do this, my dad wants it the other way~ they are not forcing me into anything, but i still feel very pressured!! they keep saying, choose wat u want n like, this is merely our opinions~ i wish i know wat i want and like! saves all troubles.
and then its my spiritual growth, i feel like i'm drifting away again. sitting in the church, attending Sunday service feels like i m not like the rest of the ppl, i m not connected! its like God called me, but my phone's broken, so He cant hear from me, and i cant reach Him. why am i always like this? a few weeks of passion, and then another few of me shutting Him out, and then total coolness, and then passionate again...
this is not how a relationship with God is supposed to be like. and this makes me doubt my faith. not whether or not God is real tat kind of thing, but, did i accept God as my savior kind of thing. in a tv programme, the pastor was telling the audiences, Christianity is not a religion, its a change in a person's life. a person will definitely change when he meets God. i m attending this TOP lessons, and the second chapter says: to accept Christ as your savior, u must first confess that u are a sinner. i m not sure i did that yet~
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2 comments:
You sure thought a lot laterly huh...
One gung-hu is to not think, it'll let you practice your faith and believe everything is in God's hand...
But to accept God's way（顺服） is another gung-hu la...
wat u wan 2 become and wat u like is 2 different thing really. maybe u can go to any education talk for some advice.
i'm sure u going 2 b alrite =)
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