Can hatred kill? If that's the case, he died, many many times over.

defeated. thrashed. i am crushed. half of me died, the other half is old and wizened. i hate you! but, life still goes on, and i can only rely on one thing. all things are in the hands of the All Knowing. i still cannot understand but i can only choose to trust and believe that all's well and ends well and that i live for a far greater reason and that there are far more for me to cherish and embrace.

argh, but it is so difficult to tell myself to let it go. i need to find someone to blame. i cant just leave without any vengeance. i am so scared for myself. is this the creation of a monster in the making?

i know i am to blame too but this thought is not sinking in. i am not impressed and i am not satisfied.

okay, here goes. i am making peace with my body and my mind and my soul. i am making peace with God and with people. i am going to surrender my negative emotions to God and let Him handle it. i am going to forgive and forget even though i don't want to. i will still be me.