You know me there

when all is said and done, more will be said than done. this is the habitual fact. it goes both ways. read things from both directions, someone told me this. and yes, he's right.

a single issue becomes an issue because people are thinking from so many aspects and being right and wrong is not the sole event anymore. it is down to what we stick for and where we stand and our attitude and our morals. it is down to our attribute to the whole "living" issue and our self respect. it is down to our beliefs and our bottom-line. there are things that we can do and yet there are things that we simply cant push beyond. it is how much we can think for people rather than just the protagonist me.

i tried to push it off my mind because i don't want to be part of it but i can't. i am in it, i am definitely part of it and they are all the people i love and doted. the hurt needs consoling and the rash needs refining. and the most important thing is to remain the peace and tranquility we enjoyed so much. the priority is to help them overcome their pain and mistakes and come to reconciliation.

the hardest part is knowing that disappointment can crush you but yet you still hope for the better because of love. i am learning the lesson of love. how do you let them know that they could be better than what they exhibit? if nature is the one behind the whole thing, i blame myself.

more things are on my mind than i would like it to be but finding people who are willing to listen is even more difficult. someone who can give you advice and calm your ripples and take away your sorrows. and yet, it is only Jesus you ever need. let me rest in You for a little while.

still undecided on so many things, and things are changing everyday. having been in this situation for so long and yet, i am surprised to find myself to be still afraid of changes. changes are inevitably necessary and yet they can be awfully painful and terrifying sometimes. i cant imagine life without it though. ironic. is it because we like to torture ourselves for the sake of experiencing life?

i hope one day, a change came along and i will be changed too. a good one i hope. even though a bad one is not all bad, it makes you go to another extreme and when a good one drops by, you will really appreciate it.

it is more and more difficult to stand on the road of righteousness when compromising the wrong is so right in this world and you feel like you are defeated simply because you do not wish to falter. i am struggling to win this but i know God is watching and adds on to my existence as time goes on when i need it.

i just hope that i can be there already. been there, done that, but that also illustrates all the hardships yet to be encountered in the real life and that is another thing scary. aghast. be with it.

i hope i know where i am and that i am still breathing and that my heart still beats and the ecosystem keeps fighting and that mankind is swept of by another flood.